Cat-Friend vs Dog-Friend

I see my dogs 😀 😀 😀

Read Full Post »

Top 100 funniest one-liners

1 I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
2 Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
3 I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
4 The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
5 Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.
6 Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
7 We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
8 Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
9 We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
10 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
11 Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
12 War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
13 If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.
14 The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
15 Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
16 Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
17 If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong…
18 Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
19 Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
20 A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
21 My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
22 I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
23 If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
24 I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
25 If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
26 Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
27 If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?
28 Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
29 How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
30 Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
31 A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
32 Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
33 Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
34 To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
35 A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
36 I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it…so I said “Implants?”
37 Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
38 A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
39 The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
40 Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
41 Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
42 Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
43 The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
44 Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR”. What’s my mother going to do?
45 He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
46 The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
47 I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
48 Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
49 God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
50 Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
51 The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
52 Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
53 Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
54 Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
55 My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
56 Some people say “If you can’t beat them, join them”. I say “If you can’t beat them, beat them”, because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.
57 Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
58 It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end.
59 Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
60 Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.
61 You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
62 Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
63 I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
64 A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.
65 My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
66 I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
67 Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
68 A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
69 We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.
70 You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
71 I should’ve known it wasn’t going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I’m a Libra and she’s a bitch.
72 A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”
73 With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
74 Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
75 Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
76 There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.
77 I don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die.
78 Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
79 Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
80 I always take life with a grain of salt, …plus a slice of lemon, …and a shot of tequila.
81 If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you!
82 I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
83 When in doubt, mumble.
84 I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
85 To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
86 Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.
87 A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
88 A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
89 Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.
90 I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, “I’m going to mop the floor with your face.” I said, “You’ll be sorry.” He said, “Oh, yeah? Why?” I said, “Well, you won’t be able to get into the corners very well.”
91 Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
92 You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket… I’d miss you heaps and think of you often.
93 When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
94 Hallmark Card: “I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost like you’re still here.”
95 Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it is gone.
96 Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
97 If winning isn’t everything why do they keep score?
98 If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.
99 If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.
100 Whoever coined the phrase “Quiet as a mouse” has never stepped on one.

 

Cited in http://www.funcage.com/blog/top-100-funniest-one-liners/

Read Full Post »

YouTube Challenge – I Told My Kid I Ate All Their Halloween Candy Again

I don’t find making these kids cry funny, actually. And I find myself keep saying, “Aw” and crease my eyebrows.

And after 4:15, I still made that “awwwww” sound, and felt like to cry. They’re so sweet!!!

 

“I’m sorry, Ciara, for eating all your candy.”

“That’s okay,” the little girl had a little jumps with a smile.

“Alright, I love you!”

“I love you, too,” the boy pointed his finger towards his mommy. —— Awwwwwww……

“I ate it.”

“It’s alright. I just want you to feel happy.” —– Awwwwwwwww

 

“I ate all your candy, are you mad at me?”

“No,” the little girl shook her head, “It’s not . . . I’m just up.”

“You just up?”

“Yeah. But when the next Halloween, we can share my candy,” she replied with a big smile.

“Love you.”

“I love you,” she grinned and kissed her mommy. —– Awwwwwwww……..

Read Full Post »

Royal Opera House Backstage Tour

The backstage tour I was mostly excited about was seeing the morning class of Royal Ballet. Guess what? I saw Natalia Osipova in person. She is the guess star of this season, Swan Lake. When she turned around and then straightly looked into my eyes. That’s the moment not only did I see her, she also looked at me. She’s very thin and small. Actually, many ballet dancers had small figures. I saw Natalia Osipoa, Sarah Lamb, Leanne Benjamin, Carlos Accosta, Yuhui Choe, Hikaru Kobayashi and many others.

I knew the ballet class was in the morning, so I booked the first tour of the day at 10:30 am. Awesome! 😀

Read Full Post »

Halloween Makeup Rehearsal — Black Swan

Lucia’s masterpiece! I loved it very much! (Sorry for the messy background, just did the laundry this afternoon :P)

Read Full Post »

Whoo!!! Showing off!!! Royal Opera Ballet Ticket!!!

I love that Royal shiny stuff on the ticket!!! 😉 £82, very expensive for me, but I didn’t have other cheaper choices!

And I actually wanted to watch other ballets, but now this season was Swan Lake, so…yep! I’m still very excited though! 😀

Read Full Post »

One year anniversary, my home in Brighton, United Kingdom :)

My home in Brighton, United Kingdom. Photo for one year anniversary,15 Sept 2011 I moved into this house. I live in one of these old Victorian houses, can you guess which one it is? 🙂 These Victorian houses are 140 something years old. I’m glad I’m a part of the history now 🙂

 

Read Full Post »

Be seen with a book? It’s just not cool, say one in five children (Daily Mail)

Really!? I always believe being seen with a book is the coolest thing ever! Not only does reading gain my wisdom but the reading behaviour also makes me feel wiser!

(Oops, sorry about the spelling of my comment on Daily Mail. “Breading” behaviour also makes me feel wiser? Hahahahahahahahaha, I just can’t stop laughing at myself!!! Didn’t check it before sending the comment 😛 )

 

 

Be seen with a book? It’s just not cool, say one in five children

By LAURA CLARK

PUBLISHED: 00:06, 7 September 2012 | UPDATED: 07:55, 7 September 2012

Children increasingly regard reading as not ‘cool’ and nearly a fifth would be embarrassed to be seen with a book by friends, a survey warns today.

Reading is ‘in decline’ due to other pressures on children’s time such as the internet, video games and television, according to the National Literacy Trust.

Only 33.5 per cent of youngsters agreed that reading was ‘cool’, with the figure falling to 14 per cent among boys aged 14 to 16.

Some 17 per cent admitted they would be ’embarrassed if my friends saw me read’.

Children are reading fewer books, comics, magazines and even websites than seven years ago, prompting the charity to warn of a ‘worrying shift’ in reading habits.

It said it was ‘essential’ for children to make time to  read because pupils who read  outside lessons do better  in exams.

The trust called on parents and teachers to set aside at least ten minutes a day for reading with children.

It also demanded a national campaign to inspire children to read, in the same way the Olympics has renewed interest in sport.

The research was based on a survey of more than 21,000 children and young people at the end of last year.

Three in ten youngsters read daily in their own time, down from four in 10 in 2005. More than . . . . . .

 

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2199561/Be-seen-book-Its-just-cool-say-children.html#ixzz25mMzxUju

Read Full Post »

Where There’s A Will, There’s A Way

“Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”

I got this saying from an animation, Chicken Run. I like it very much, and it is always my belief!

When my friends begin doubting if they are able to achieve what they dream, what they wish, I always tell them with a cheerful smile, “YOU WILL DO IT”. Instead of telling them what they “can”, I rather make them more confident, I say to them, “You will”. “Can” is a choice, but “Will” is a persistent statement that will make people see their bright future.

As my UK study is about to finish, but I still want to stay in England for a bit while because I love England. So I say to myself, “If I happen to go back to Taiwan, I WILL come back and make myself a living in England very soon, in a year.” I have a will, and “I WILL.”

People ask me, “Don’t you miss your family?”

Yes, I do, and I miss them and love them so much. But it is the freedom I’m pursuing (I grew up in a very protective family), and it is the English speaking environment I’m pursuing. No matter where I go, that doesn’t decrease the love I give my family. 🙂

Read Full Post »

Different Ballet Point of View

Firstly, I could never be a professional dancer.

I danced ballet for more than 5 years (and currently stopped because of my oversea study). I started ballet lessons in the same year when I went to a college, but I began having the huge passion for ballet since I was in the second year in high school. Ballet is only my hobby, and I go to ballet lessons for fun and enjoyment. People who don’t dance ballet never understand that I can never perform ballet on the stage (well, at least, I don’t think I’m professional enough to be on the stage), but they always ask me, “Why don’t you hold a performance?” or “When can I see your performance?” They really mean what they say no matter how hard I try to explain my age and how late I started ballet, blah blah blah . . . They still say “WHY NOT?” The classic one was the question that “Why don’t you get a performance”, and this was asked by “him” before we had a “secret” relationship. (We were walking towards the school) When he asked, I laughed and said, “Who would come and see then?”  He said, “I don’t know. Maybe kids.” I laughed and smily said, “No.” “Why not?” he said. “Because I’m not a professional”, I replied. “But you can still do it, right?”, he insisted. I didn’t explain more, and felt very funny (in a polite way) to this kind of question. I’m not saying I cannot do a performance, in fact, I always dream about going on a stage, but just I don’t think I’m “professional” enough to be on the stage.

Secondly, different ballet points of view.

When I go to a theatre to see a ballet or simply watch it on Youtube, I know if a dancer has good techniques or if he/she has make a mistake in performance (well, in fact, I don’t even call it “mistake”, it should be called “accident”. I don’t think dancers would make any mistakes on the stage because they spend days and days, hours and hours rehearsing one play. It’s hardly to say they make “mistakes”, but “accidents” are quite common on the stage). I dance, and I know the footwork. People who are not interested in ballet only “WOW” at dancers’ jumps (grand jete) or turns (pirouette or fouette) or their flexibility. People who like ballet, appreciate ballet, but not as much as I passionate for it still focus on those, I call, “obvious” amazements (I don’t mean it in a bad way). I realise I’m in a different level when watching ballet. Ballet has become my knowledge, and yes, now I can say I’m “professional” at understanding ballet and the footwork. When I watch dancers dance, I see how high they jump (the bounce), how steady they land, how neat their footwork is, how much strength they hold, how much emotion they put in their role, how “amazing” their techniques are, how fluid (the flow) each movement connects together , etc. Flexibility is a different thing, and yes, I still wow if they have good flexibility. But people who don’t do ballet don’t understand that “flexibility” doesn’t equal “strength”. Take me as an example, I have nice flexibility, but my muscle is not strong enough to hold my leg high. I can use my hand to lift my leg very high, but when I drop my hand, I can’t keep my leg with the same hight. My muscle is not very strong (although it can be trained). I examine the details of ballet footwork. I know what is “amazing”, what is “normal” and what is “awful”.

Different ballet point of view:

Example 1

My landlady and her big daughter like ballet, and they have seen ballet performances once or twice. When I showed them videos that, to me, the dancers were “amazing”, they didn’t wow at the points that I (as well as the audiences in the videos) viewed as “amazing”. I came to realise the huge gap of the ballet understanding between them and me. Even though I tried to explain the hard work and the techniques, they still didn’t show how much they understood it. They were happy and glad I showed them the beautiful dance, and so was I. But . . . I couldn’t say it is a disappointment, but . . . there’s just something missing. The same excitement as I see the amazements perhaps.

Example 2

He likes ballet, and he has watched ballet in theater back in his country a couple of times. He told me he knew the mistakes dancers did in performances. I was really curious how he examined the mistakes. He told me when dancers are doing group work (mostly corps de ballet), they should jump at the same hight and at the “exact” same time. And when I showed him this video,

He told me Sveltana Zakharova made some mistakes from 1:20 to 1:24 (grand battement). He said she should do every single “grand battement” as the one at 1:25.

I “taught” him that dancers do not necessarily jump at the same hight and the exact same time in group dances. Yes, if dancers can do what he says, then it is perfect, beautiful and “neat”. For choreographers, they do want dancers to try hard to keep their steps altogether, because that makes the dance neat and beautiful. But if they do not, it cannot be called “mistakes”. It is very difficult to keep every dancer in the same move because they have slightly different rhythms to the music. Ballet does “Allongé“ a lot. Ballet dancers keep their body stretching out and make the body line longer and beautiful, unlike other pop dances. A period of rhythms in music gives dancers certain time to “Allongé” as much as they can, so they sometimes don’t keep on track at the “exact” same time with others. And about jumping at the same hight, if you do really dance ballet, you may realise not everyone has the same strength, the same muscle condition and good feet to jump the exact same hight. And in fact, you don’t have to do ballet, just do a basic jump, and you would realise you don’t have the same bouncing level as others. And there’s another point that makes the jump level look different. A taller person illusionally jumps higher than a shorter one, but it is not always the case. As I say, it mainly depends on the feet, the strength and the muscle conditions.

And for that video, Svetlana didn’t make any mistakes between 1:20 and 1:24. She didn’t have to keep her legs exactly the same level as in 1:25. Why? Firstly, that’s, I say, how amazingly she controlled her legs’ strength and muscles. Secondly, if she did every single kicks the same, that’s actually very boring in the dance (I believe my ballet teachers would agree with me). Dance is like music. They have fluctuations. Music is sometimes loud or quiet to express the emotions of music, and ballet is the same. The changes in music or dance makes the audience feel new and fresh.

What is an accident (most people call it “mistake” so to speak)?

Focus on 1:02 – 03, Svetlana Zakharova’s left leg (we call it “supporting leg) was supposed to be “en pointe” (standing on the toes), but she fell a bit. However, this should not be called “a mistake” because it happens quite often to dancers. Dancers are suddenly unable to make their one leg standing to keep their whole body steady, so they have to land with whole foot to avoid falling on the stage. If you are not a ballet dancer, but still, try to imagine the feeling of standing on your toes, you may realise it’s quite hard to keep your whole body stable. Now try to stand on one foot on the toes. It’s even harder. When you stand on your toes with bare foot, it may be slightly easier because you stretch out your toes to make a stable support. However, when you wear ballerina’s pointe shoes, you would notice your toes squeeze together, you couldn’t stretch your toes, you may it hard to steady your one leg standing.

What is Allongé? Here’s a great example,

Focus on 1:20 – 21, and listen to how the teacher elongated her voice (although she spoke Russian, I believe she called the girl to stretch out longer).

 

Sorry, Mr, I noticed when I corrected you on ballet, you didn’t seem to agree on what I “taught” you. Perhaps you felt embarrassed, perhaps you believed your knowledge, I don’t know, really. But you stepped on my professional field, you should accept that I had (have) better knowledge than you did. Just like when you talked about football, and taught and corrected me the knowledge of football, I always accepted my mistakes and learned the knowledge from you. I like football and have watched games a few times. But I knew I would never have better knowledge than you because I didn’t have the passion as much as you did for football.

 

 

“Styles of ballet”, to be continued . . .

Read Full Post »